HRT #47: This time it's personal.

I was testing out a new ink pen after I sat down to create another HRT. I wrote my name in my journal, 

and it spawned this personal essay. I decided to indulge my creative muse and wander off on a tangent. 

In the 80's, Billy Idol sang,"Eyes without a Face." Today I create, "Thoughts without a Face."

Is that with a C or a K?

I love how my name looks written in script: C-a-t-h-r-y-n. The high arch of the C balanced five letters away by the descending Y, which grounds the the word—reaching deeply, as I do when confronted by my own fragility.

Seven letters long. The strong C sound in the beginning followed by the wide-mouthed A, swept along by the rushing air of TH across tongue and lip, caught in the gritty net of R, Y masquerading as a vowel, and then suddenly the N-ding.

My father is responsible for this unusual spelling. Thank you Daddy.
Perhaps in your mathematical mind you knew the best way to engineer the label that would represent me and be me. In your quiet way you made an artistic choice that captured who I am. I am no more Katherine with a K than I am a Sol or a Mort.

People have misspelled my name my whole life—quite fitting since I am not easily spelled out. I want to be quiet and daydream in a world that wants to go faster and faster. In my generation it was said, “Greed is good.” In this generation, “Speed is good,” but all I want to do is go slower and slower, ponder and think, and if I am lucky, very lucky...create.

In our rushed world, people will quickly ask, “Is that Catherine with a C or a K?”—not bothering to get the correct ending, only gaining information for half of the equation. Ultimately their calculations do not compute. But I smile to myself, knowing my secret. I am unique and not quickly understood. You need to slow down to get to know the real C-a-t-h-r-y-n. But if not, that’s okay. I’ve learned it is wonderful to be alone where it is quiet, where I can ponder and think, and if I am lucky, very lucky...create.